My friend Deidre recommended this to me, and it really is extraordinary. Chanel Miller writes so beautifully, and weaves a narrative so skillfully, it’s truly a marvel. She tells the story of her experiences as a defendant in a sexual assault trial — a process that spanned over a year, two if you count the appeal, three if you also count the subsequent recall of the judge, Aaron Persky, as a result of mass outrage over his choice to sentence the rapist, Brock Turner, to a mere 6 months in jail (of which he served three months). Also interwoven are moments from Miller’s life before and since, and some really smart analysis of the legal process, and also various tremendously helpful (and moving) explanations of what it’s like to work through trauma.
It’s an unfortunate inevitability that people will depeloy this book as evidence for bolstering carceral solutions to sexual violence. We know, for example, that the recall of Aaron Persky led to increased sentences, which, given that there is already a large disparity in sentencing of white defendants and people of color, will disproportionately affect minoritized defendants. This isn’t something Miller engages in the book, and I don’t think she’s obligated to (remember, too, that it was published in 2019, a very different time). I think she is careful to focus specifically on Brock Turner’s sentence, and not wholeheartedly advocate for prison as a solution. In fact, I think the book can also serve quite elegantly, and persuasively, as evidence for prison abolitionists, in that it so blatantly makes clear that the so-called justice system does not promote justice or healing at all.
This is so profoundly, starkly apparent in the book because it is so narrowly focused on the legal process itself, and how deeply traumatizing it is. There is no conflating this harm with the trauma of the assault itself, in this case, because Miller has no memory of the assault. It’s the cruel, invasive process of examination and interrogation; how she is scrutinized and her character is coldly assessed. The process (both in court and in the media) is engineered, it seems, to uncover all of her flaws and shortcomings, even as it simultaneously seeks out all of Brock Turner’s merits (notoriously, media coverage of the trial included his swim times, and his hopes of being an Olympic athlete). Feminist analysis has discussed in detail how a young man’s potential accomplishments are weighed against actual harms to a young woman (whose own lost potential is never recognized). Even mainstream media coverage registered just how bad things were. But while we can identify that clear misogyny at work, what Miller shows so poignantly is what it’s like to live inside of it. Listening to her story (because I listened to the audiobook, and I recommend that you do too — she reads it herself), I kept thinking about how she is astonishingly both exceptional — possessed of a really unique talent — and also “just a normal person.” And that’s kind of the point.
Ok I really do have to work on some other things now so I just have to stop here I guess! Read the book!
Kasia Reads 